Self-esteem is a hot topic. People often link someone’s self-esteem to success. People assume that If you have high self-esteem you will be successful and if you have low self-esteem you are more likely to struggle. What most people do not realize is that many people that appear to have high self-esteem really are just the opposite. Inside they look down upon themselves and do not think they are as great as everyone says that they are.
Some people are better at hiding their insecurities than others. Some more obvious signs of low self-esteem are using self-disparaging remarks and taking blame easily. Some other signs are seeking praise from others and fearing rejection. Low self-esteem effects people from all backgrounds and at all ages. Seeking out a counselor can help. By talking to a counselor you can learn more about yourself and start learning to accept who you are. It is possible to love yourself and raise your self-esteem you may just need help getting started. Check out www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/ to learn more about our counseling services. Call 813-244-1251 with any questions or to schedule an appointment with our many great therapists today!
Many people may not know this, but May has been Mental Health Awareness month for over six decades now. It is important to pay attention to our mental health. When it comes to physical health we tend to take preventative measures and make changes before disease or health problems escalate, why not do the same for your mental health?
The goal of mental health awareness month is to encourage people to pay attention to their mental health and take action before things escalate. So many wait to ask for help. Why ignore it, when you take charge and make change?
Do something for yourself! Do not be afraid to ask for help. There are people out there that have the knowledge to teach you many skills that can help you cope and overcome your difficulties. Check out our website at http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/ to learn more about our counseling services. You can also call 813-244-1251 with any questions or to schedule an appointment with one of our many great therapists today!
It is that time of year again. The time that you have been looking forward to, but also dreading…..Finals. Finals signal the end of the school year and the beginning of summer, but that time of the year puts a lot of pressure on students and on their parents. It is during this time of the year that projects that have been known about all year are finally due. Students often feel burnout at this point and are scrambling to get all of their major projects done as well as studying for their final exams.
Its during this stressful time for students, that parents also feel overwhelmed. Parents want to be there for their child and encourage them to do their best even though they may feel stressed. It is difficult for parents to handle their stressed child. Their children may snap at them or their siblings randomly. It is important that parents take charge and understand why their child is behaving that way.
Stress happens to everyone both young and old. It is important to learn coping skills in order to deal with stressful situations in a healthy way. Going to counseling can provide an opportunity to learn coping skills for stress as well as teach parents how to work with their children who are feeling stressed. Visit http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/ to learn more about our counseling services or call 813-244-1251 to schedule an appointment with one of our many great therapists today!
Many people will agree that communication is KEY to any relationship. Whether it is with your significant other, family members, or very close friends, you want to have clear and open dialogue. Are experiencing communication blockage in your relationship? You might not be using clean communication. Follow these basic guidelines for cleaner communication:
- Avoid using judgmental words. Avoid using words that convey to your partner that he/she is flawed. Examples: “childish, uncooperative, thoughtless.” These words do not belong in a caring relationship.
- Avoid using global labels. A global label is a generalized disapproval of your partner’s identity. Examples: he or she is “stupid, selfish, lazy, useless.” These labels attack your partner’s person instead of his/her behavior. They convey that your partner is “always” bad. Use of these labels results in a loss of trust and a loss of closeness.
- Avoid “you” messages of blame and accusation. Examples: “You always make us late; you never ask what I want; you never offer to help with chores.” The true meaning behind these “you” messages is: “I’m in pain, and you did it to me.” They also convey the message: “You were bad and wrong for doing this to me.” Instead use “I” messages which show no direct accusation or blaming of your partner. For example: “I feel sad about missing the evening with you when you come home late; I feel tired and irritated when I put the groceries away alone.”
- Avoid bringing up the past. When communicating with your partner, especially while angry, try to stay in the present moment and deal with the current issue. Bringing up past events tends to build up a case against your partner compiling evidence to prove his/her faults. Example: “You did the same thing to me last week, and the week before.” This statement sends the message: “You’ve always had this flaw, and it’s not getting any better.”
- Avoid using negative comparisons. Clean communication is about helping, not hurting your partner. It is meant to resolve conflict by not rejecting your partner. Negative comparisons only seek to punish and attack your partner.
- Avoid using threats. Example: “If you leave this house right now, don’t expect me to be here when you get back.” This sends the message that your partner is bad and you are going to punish him/her. The deliberate intention to hurt is tremendously destructive to your relationship.
- Describe your feelings rather than attack with them. Using clarifying words to describe your feelings will help your partner to hear and understand you. Statements like: “I am sad, or I am feeling hurt,” are clear ways to express your feelings to your partner. Be mindful of your tone of voice when describing your feelings. Using sarcasm, threatening, or raising your voice can be perceived as an attack on your partner.
- Keep your body language open and receptive. Believe it or not your body language can actually depict whether or not you are open and willing to communicate. Crossing your arms, pinched lips or a tight jaw, or looking away in a disgusted manner are all signs that you do not want to communicate. To portray openness, keep good eye contact, nod or acknowledge while listening, relax your face, uncross your arms, and if you are sitting lean slightly forward.
- Use whole messages. Whole messages consist of observations, thoughts, feelings, and needs or wants. “You’re spending too much time at work” is not an appropriate way to express thoughts in a whole message, because it turns your opinion into an absolute truth. “I am sensing that the balance is off; I think you need to spend more time at home.” This statement shows that the speaker takes responsibility for his/her own opinion and does not try to make it absolute.
- Use clear messages. A woman who sarcastically says to her partner at the dinner table, “You’re talkative as usual,” may pretend her statement is a simple observation, but the observation is contaminated with judging thoughts, feelings, and needs. A more accurate statement would be clear and whole: “I notice you’re pretty quiet tonight (observation). It makes me think you’re not interested in me (thought), and I feel hurt and a little angry (feeling). I’d really like you to talk with me more (need).”
Are you using clean communication with those around you and/or with your partner? Call Star point today to set up an appointment with one of our counselors. They can help guide you and your partner (or family members) down the road to cleaner and clearer communication.
McKay, M., Fanning, P. & Paleg, K. (2006). Couple skills: Making your relationship work. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Visit our website to learn more about how a counselor can help: http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com, or http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com
When difficult situations arise a common piece of advise people hear is to forgive and forget. What people fail to remember is how difficult it is to forgive someone who has hurt you, especially if they have hurt you more than once. Some people forgive others cheaply, meaning they forgive the offender without any real processing of the emotion or the injury. There are three types of people who usually forgive cheaply: conflict avoiders, passive-agressors, and the self-sacrificers.
So what does the hurt person have to do in order to accept someone’s forgiveness genuinely? The victim must look at their own assumptions about forgiveness and how those assumptions stop them from granting forgiveness. They also need to go through the acceptance process. The person that is to forgive the offender should create opportunities for the offender to make good and help the victim heal.
It is possible to forgive, but it can be difficult. A counselor can help with the forgiveness process. Go to http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/ to learn about our services. Call 813-244-1251 for any questions or to schedule an appointment with one of our great counselors today!
Parents want what is best for their children. Parents can and should keep careful watch of their children, but it can become an issue when the parent is constantly hovering over the child and not allowing him or her to discover things out on their own. Worry is common for many parents to feel at times, but when it is constant and obsessive it becomes problematic.
Being an overprotective parent may cause the child to become overly dependent and not learn how to do things on their own. The child will have difficulty making decisions for him/her self and will demonstrate feelings of inadequacy. The child will likely not be assertive or take on a leadership role, instead they will look for guidance.
It is important that you encourage your child to solve their own problems and offer guidance minimally. As parents it is important to offer unconditional love that is not based only on behavior and accomplishments.
Counseling is also a great way to develop parenting skills! If you want more information about our counseling services check out our website at http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com. Call 813-244-1251 for questions or to schedule an appointment with one of our many great therapists!
Do you retreat into your shell and shut yourself off leaving you no access to the outside world? Or do you reach out to find social support?
While it may seem appealing to crawl into a corner and shut the world out when stressed, it is actually less beneficial to your physical and mental well-being. Retreating when stressed may increase your chances of weight gain or loss, high blood pressure, depression, and anxiety.
On the flip side, reaching out to friends and family for social support is highly beneficial for both your physical and mental well-being. Pursuing social interaction when stressed decreases illnesses, depression, and anxiety. In addition, the larger and more diverse your circle of friends, the better it is for your overall health.
Counseling is an option that allows you to “socialize” by talking to someone and venting about your stress. Not to mention it is very favorable for your mental health. By seeking counseling for stress, you may learn new techniques to incorporate into your everyday life, and reduce the negative results of stress.
Get help now! Visit our website today: http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com, or http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com
Or call now to schedule an appointment with one of our skilled counselors: (813) 244-1251
Becoming a parent is a joyous time, but unfortunately new stresses come along with it. Things change. Two people who were used to taking care of themselves now have the responsibility of taking care of baby that can do nothing for itself. Tension can arise between the caretakers and those around them. Because of the new addition, the responsibilities shift or may change all together. Some common difficulties that arise are frequent arguments and conflicts on how to parent. One of the most difficult things is learning the balance between, the relationship, family, and the everyday stresses of work and household work.
It is important that both partners form a bond with the infant and that both partners agree and participate in the infant’s care. It is critical that both partners notice and acknowledge their appreciation for infant care and support. Both partners should get together and discuss a plan on how to manage the balance of responsibilities.
If you are struggling with the adjustment of having a little one to care for, a counselor may be able to guide you through the transition from being a couple to being parents. Visit http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com for more information or call 813-244-1251 for any questions or to set up an appointment.
For many, spring is a time of new birth and new beginning. Many take this time to clean out and start fresh again. Why not do the same for your mind? Take a moment to take a deep breath and make a step toward a better you! If you want to understand yourself better consider counseling as a way to get a fresh start. We have many great therapists in our office that offer a variety of counseling services. Check out our website for more information http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com or call 813-244-1251 for any questions or to set up an appointment today!
Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. Relationships are important so be sure to tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them. If you are having any difficulty communicating with your loved ones consider Star Point. At Star Point Counseling center we offer counseling services for individuals, couples, and families. We even offer premarital counseling services. Visit www.starpointcounselingtampa.com for more information about our services or to learn more about our many therapists.