Why Me

Rather than thinking of the deficits and of the things that you do not have, how would your life change if you were to wake up tomorrow more grateful?  Would you be able to point out the things in your life that you are grateful for that sometimes go unnoticed?  What about the people in your life that you are grateful for, have you told them lately?  Would you tell them?

As a society we get so caught up in the daily battles with ourselves and others that we forget all of the beautiful priceless “things” around us.  Rather than re-directing ourselves to view from a more grateful perspective, we get caught up in the “why me” or the sarcastic “great” mindset.

What are your priceless pieces in your life? Are you able to appreciate them?  When was the last time you said “thank you” to someone and really meant it?  The words “I appreciate you” or “I am grateful for…” do not come out of our mouths very often and yet those words can take you so far and change your whole day and possibly make someone else’s.

Waking up in the morning and focusing on the things in your life that you are grateful for is one of the first steps to being healthy.  Healthy minds are grateful for the beauty around them and they are able to recognize and appreciate that beauty.

Do you recognize the beauty that is all around you?  Is your picture of life a little muddy and making it hard to focus in on the beautiful things and beings in your life?  Give us a call/text and let’s figure it out together.  Life is too short to not be grateful.

Seriously, how would your day look?

Star Point Counseling Center

813.244.1251

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Just Be

Be in the now. We get so caught up in our daily responsibilities of life and trying to prove to others that we are mature, responsible, and worth it that we lose track of  “where” we are. Fully embrace the moment.  Embrace the people you are with.

How exactly do you “live in the moment?” Start by feeling your toes in our shoes.  Feel each step that you take.  Wiggle your fingers.  Feel your arms. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, do not think about anything else except what you are doing at that moment in time.  When you are with your significant other, “be” with them. When you are with your kids, “be” with them.  At work? “Be” at work.

Don’t forget to take time to be grateful for the moments that you are in.

Just be in the now.

 

Would you like to learn how to get to that point?

Call or text for an appointment today:

Star Point Counseling Center

813.244.1251

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Perceived Communication

Has anyone ever told you that you mean well but you come across as something different? Is there a certain group or type of person that tells you this? Then you may be giving off a vibe in your communications and are not aware of it.

We sometimes have women who come in and communicate differently to men than they do to women and they do not realize they are doing it. This is also true for some men as well towards women.  It can be because they had a verbally abusive father, were traumatized by a man or physically abused by a man. This is also true for some men as well towards women.

When this happens the communication is negative and defensive thus breaking down any form of assertive communication that may exist.

If you feel this is happening to you then call Star Point Counseling Center at 813-244-1251 and set an appointment to see one of our therapists to help you work through your perceived communication.

Juggling Act

Have you gotten caught up?  Have you gotten so wrapped up in “adulting” that you have forgotten what “fun” looks like?  So many people nowadays are so caught up in their mortgages, bills, work, and getting ahead that they have forgotten that all work and no play makes a dull boy.  To live a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life we must be balanced.  While work, bills, and getting ahead at work is an important part of you… it is not all of you.

You are more than work.  You are more than bills.  You are more than a title or a number at work.   Your family, friends, and having fun in life is also a part of you.  When you begin to feel stressed out and overwhelmed take a deliberate breath and breathe in all the light, love, and goodness.  Breathe out all the stress, anxiety, and darkness.  Quit trying to one up the next guy and be proud of yourself, not prideful. Appreciate where you are and all that you have achieved and overcome.  Now, have some fun. Give yourself permission to enjoy your life.  Put your phone and your electronics away.  Stop and smell the flowers.  Schedule your fun time deliberately and then hold onto that fun appointment and don’t cancel and try not to have to reschedule it.  You deserve it.  Your family and friends deserve it.  Give them the healthiest version of you by learning to balance.

Call or text us today to schedule an appointment and we will teach you how to balance.

Star Point Counseling

813.244.1251

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/default.html

#family #fun #Tampa #BrandonFL #couneling #therapy #familycounseling #childrenscounseling #couplescounseling #stress #grief #loss #anxiety #emptiness #healthy #February #Friday #weekend #love #overwhelmed #help #hurt #pain #hope #balance #motivate #schedule #Bayarea #downtown #flowers #Valentine

United, If We Choose to Be

     Regardless of the political perspective that we all view from, this political season has been stressful.  As a matter of fact, 52% of Americans reported it as being stressful, according to the American Psychological Association (2016).  Americans have found themselves feeling “anxious, stressed out, and worried.” Where does this come from? Why do we feel this  way?  The unknown is frightening and, for some, the facts of what is being done is frightening.    How do we continue on while feeling this way?  With the rise in hate crimes, protests, discussions and accusations of sexual abuse, walls, and health insurance it’s no wonder that many of us may feel that we are caught in the middle of a mental health crisis.

Research from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (2015) reports that one in five women will be the victim of sexual assault at some point in their lives so it is no wonder that so many women feel that they need to step up and do something to “protect” others.  Then on the other hand, we have women that do not see themselves as “victims” and do not need other women to protect them and for some reason it only brings about hate.  Why? For some reason, people have not realized or have forgotten that it is okay to disagree.

We live in America where we have freedom of speech, but we must understand that while we are free to do as we choose, we are not free of the consequences that may come from those choices.  America is the land of the free and the home of the brave. There is room for all of us to speak and to be heard, we do not have to spew hate towards one another just because our perspectives differ.  If both sides are saying they are trying to help or protect the others, then why are they tearing them down to try to make their point?  Are we really that convinced that our side is so perfectly correct that there is not any compromising to be had?  Are we not even willing to stop and listen to the argument and take some time to reflect without trying to prove why our side is right?  Rather than coming back with an argument, can we not try to stop and think of the pros and cons together?  We may be surprised.

We are only able to see the world through our own life experiences, but if we each step out and put ourselves in one another’s shoes for a moment we may end up pleasantly surprised at the empathy that we have for one another.  Or at the very least, realize that we don’t really hate each other.

With the election and inauguration ceremony of the new president, fear has come from every angle.  For those that are pro President Trump and those that are against him, let’s unite and work through our fears of what is going on together.  Let’s listen to one another from a loving and understanding perspective.  Understand that the opposing side’s perspective is being fueled by fear.  Regardless of the side that you stand on, we must teach ourselves to listen and to see though different lenses if we have any chance of truly being great again.  Cast aside your doubt and come with an open heart and an open mind.  If both sides are truly trying to help, then let’s help each other and quit tearing each other down.  Don’t be fooled to believe that the “other side” is against you.  Fear is what is fueling both sides.  United we stand and divided we fall.

If you feel that you are stressed and overwhelmed due to the current circumstances and situation of our country, give us a call.  Let’s work through our fears and discuss ways to cope and manage stress so that we can get back to being happy.  Life is too short to be anything else.  Let’s not live in fear.

(813) 244-1251

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/default.html

References:

(n.d.). (2016). APA Survey Reveals 2016 Presidential Election Source of Significant Stress for More Than     Half of Americans Retrieved January 26, 2017, from http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2016/10/presidential-election-stress.aspx

 

Burnett-Zeigler, I. E. (2016). How Donald Trump Affects Therapy Patients. Retrieved January 26, 2017, from http://time.com/4583628/donald-trump-therapy-patients/

 

Statistics about sexual violence. (2015). National Sexual Violence Resource Center. http://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf

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I Promise….

When you were younger, do you remember thinking about what your future would look like? Do you remember deciding what your future spouse would look like, how many children and pets you would have, where you would live, and even what you would be doing as a profession?  Yes, those days were fun.  We were able to imagine ourselves being great and having a wonderful life.  I think that for most people only good thoughts were thought about because  I don’t recall ever hearing anyone mention how they would parent their children.  I also don’t think that I ever heard anyone discuss what their lives would look like once they decided to not have anymore children or even how that would feel.

The truth is, that while living the dreams of our past’s future we may have messed up along the way.  We may have gotten so out of touch with what our real goals in life once were that we began to lose ourselves and we may have even lost sight of those precious dreams.  Did your life turn out the way that you pictured it? If not, that’s okay, things don’t always work out exactly as planned.  Okay, maybe never, but still… that’s okay.  The real question is: “Are you happy?”  Are you happy with the choices that you have made for your children?  Are you happy with the relationship between your children and your spouse?  Are you happy with how you are treated and how you treat others?

Regardless of the details of the future that you had planned, does it “feel” the way that you always wanted it to?  Think back to the promises that you made for child when he/she was born, when you first gazed into those beautiful eyes and made those promises of what you would always be for your child.  Are you fulfilling those promises that you made?

It’s not too late.  Start a new path.  Fulfill those promises.  “I promise to always be an understanding father and listen to you when you need someone to talk to.”  “I promise to love you unconditionally.”  “I promise to always give you my best.”  We all have bad days.  We all make mistakes.  But, it does not mean that for the rest of our lives each day has to be “bad.”  Get up and dust that dirt off your shoulders.  Allow your brokenhearted teenager to cry on your shoulder.  Be understanding that your child may have just had a bad day… like you.  It happens.  We have bad days.  Who do you have to talk to that will listen to you?  Who does your child have? Be to them who you needed when you were younger.  It’s not too late.

Star Point Counseling

Call or text for an appointment:  (813) 244-1251

 

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Do Not Pass Go

At what age are we supposed to stop blaming our parents for our lives?  Is there such an age?  While we may feel that the way our life has turned out is our parents fault due to their mistakes with us, the truth is that we have more power than we think we do.  As an adult, we should be able to look at our childhood situations from a different perspective.  Meaning, we are able to understand the situations that our parents were in and how that situation played a part in their actions and behavior.  We may not have made the same choices as them now looking back, but we are able to understand what shaped their decision making.  If there was substance abuse in the mix, then all the more reason to understand why poor choices were made.  Once we understand that, then it is time to forgive and move on.  Our parents are not to blame for our adult mistakes.  We may not be ready to forgive them… and that is okay. Learn how to forgive yourself.  Forgive yourself for being fooled. Forgive yourself for feeling as if you had no choice.  Forgive yourself for not speaking up.  Forgive yourself.

We know what we need to do and  it is time to do it.  Most of us know what we should be doing instead, but it is too easy to stay in the same place.  It is too easy to blame others.  We are so afraid of failing and not having anyone besides ourselves to blame.  Do we have to blame anyone?  What about if we twist that perspective a bit?  Each mistake is a learning lesson.  The truth is we do not have to blame anyone.  If anything, we could possible go as far as thanking them.  Thank you for these mistakes.  Thank you for this negative time.  Thank you for showing me what I do not want in my life or for my family.  If you mess up, forgive yourself and try again.

Now, just because we may forgive ourselves or others do not mean that  we should forget about the lesson that we learned from it.  Reflect and re-do.  Set your goals and then make your game plan.  How do you plan on reaching your goals without a game plan?  Do something different.  Do not be afraid to fail, learn from the failure.  Make some positive changes for yourself and for your family this year.  Quit playing the blame game, is there ever a winner in that game?

(813)244-1251

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New Year, Better You

It seems that everywhere we go we keep hearing about who/what 2016 has taken from us. While we may have all experienced pain and sadness at some point during the year, what about everything that 2016 gave us?  While the year may have had some harsh times and we may have done things that we are not proud of, I think we can all agree that 2016 taught us something.  Learning experiences. Better ideas. Another step closer to finding out who we are as a person and what we stand for and maybe even what we won’t stand for.

At the end of the day, are you happy with your choices?  Have you learned to ask for forgiveness? Have you learned how to forgive others and yourself?  If you are tired of not having joy in your life, are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, experiencing grief or are afraid of the “what ifs,” give us a call.  You don’t have to go through 2017 alone.

Live life to the fullest and don’t be afraid.  Make good choices. Are you ready to make 2017 the best year yet?

Star Point Counseling Center
http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/default.html
starpointcenter@aol.com
(813)-244-1251
#familygoals #couplegoals #familytherapy #couplestherapy#familycounseling #couplescounseling #newyearseve #newyear #griefcounseling #depression #teentherapy #adolescenttherapy #coping

Enough is Enough

Have you ever been in an argument that you were so ready to tell the other person off because you just knew, without a doubt, that you were right?

Most of the time, the arguments that are the hardest to work out are the ones where both people are right.  Both sides make a good point and they each make sense.  So how do you decide what to do? What’s the next step?  For some, they may try to avoid the situation.  For others, they may continue to try to persuade the other person into thinking their way and when the other person doesn’t budge a brand new argument erupts.  Sound familiar?

If you know the feelings behind their actions, it is easier to remedy the situation.  Stop for a minute and think what the situation looks like from the outside looking in.  Are you able to see from their perspective?  Are you trying or even willing to stop trying to be right and understand what they are feeling… are they willing to do the same?  We must learn to validate, rather than judge and dismiss other’s views and perspectives.  Rather than judging others for “what” they think, maybe we can stop and look at their experiences that have led them to think that way in the first place.  We all have our battles.  We all have our challenges.  We all are going through things that, often times, nobody else may know about.  Be kind.  Listen.  Let’s let our guard down for just one moment and imagine what it would feel like to read what our partner, family member, friend is feeling and what they are trying to convey to us.  While they may be saying hurtful things, try to look at the big picture.  What may seem like anger and hate could actually be hurt and pain.  Nobody wants to look weak.  Meet them in the middle.  Listen to understand, don’t listen to ask your next question.  Give, receive, and celebrate as you go along.

Let us teach you the tools you need to enrich your relationships.  Only you can decide when enough is enough.

Give us a call/text today: (813) 244-1251

Star Point Counseling

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/default.html

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Free To Choose, Not Free From The Consequences

The holidays are here.  If you find yourself having difficulty coming to terms with the idea that you will be seeing family members that you would rather not see, remind yourself that you have rights.  While being respectful, stand up for your rights.  Does the outcome outweigh the bad? If you say something, will it be worth it? If you find yourself on the wrong end and make a mistake, remember: While apologies help, compassion will go much farther than an apology ever will.

When speaking to your family members, try to remember to respond rather than to react.  If this sounds easier said than done, give us a call.

Star Point Counseling Center

813-244-1251

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/default.html

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