Why do we hurt the ones we love?

The people we know and love the most are the same people we’re most awful to in word and deed. Often times it is because we expect too much from them. We hope that they can help us, that they can do all the things we are not capable of doing; moreover, that they have to do them, because of the love we invest in them. When they don’t, we feel disappointed and the natural instinct is to get angry and act out. Also, the people we love and care for are the ones who have the courage to be honest and tell us the truth, even when it hurts. And even though we know it is the truth, it still hurts and the pain can cause violent reactions

Many times we expect the people we love to just know what we are thinking, and when that doesn’t happen, we feel misunderstood. We wish they could make a journey inside our head and see things the way we see them, just because we think it is the right way. We simply can’t understand why they think differently and how they can miss something that seems so simple and obvious to us. In addition, we misunderstand them because we’re not always willing to try to understand them.

We love them but in the same time we hate them because they know our weaknesses and there’s no way we can hide. The mask we wear in relation with other people is put aside and all the things we usually try to hide come to the surface

Lastly, We trust them and we know deep in our hearts that, no matter what we do, they won’t stop loving us. We feel safe to take our frustrations on them because we think there will be no consequences. We hurt them most of the times because they let us hurt them.

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Standing your ground

Everyday, from the moment we wake up, we live our lives caring what other people think of us. We tip toe our way through life by doing things in order to please others, not because it’s what we believe in. Eventually our actions, appearances, and lives become molded by how we think other people perceive us.

Living a life that follows what other people think is a terrible way to live. We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is —  everyone is thinking the exact same thing, and everyone is too busy thinking about ourselves and our own shortcomings to worry about others.

It’s impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations. There will always be people ,  no matter what we say or how we treat them , that will judge us. You will never be able to stop people from judging you, but you can stop it from affecting you! Do not let other people’s perception of you effect your perception of yourself.

 

Living life according to “the plan”

“Life is what happens while you are making other plans.” ~John Lennon
       Getting fixated on plans will often times lead to disappointment. We tend to plan out our lives rigorously and not know what to do when things do not go as we anticipated. Sometimes you might need to make minor adjustments to your life plans in order to enjoy the journey of life. Other times, major changes might be necessary, either way, that’s your opportunity to experience all that this world has to offer.
     Learning to find joy and happiness with life’s surprises takes time, but you will no longer find yourself being constantly disappointed or stressed or looking around wondering what happened to the life you thought you’d have.
      You can develop the habit of seeing the good in everything, even when life doesn’t go according to “the plan.”
      If you are having a hard time coping with the changes in your life, at Star Point Counseling Center, we can help you. If you have any questions or wish to speak to a counselor please give us a call at (813)-244-1251

Alcohol Controls My Life

What alcohol has to say…

 I’ll invade all your thoughts, I’ll take hostage your soul

I’ll become your new master, in total control

I’ll maim your emotions, I’ll run the whole game

Till your entire existence is crippled with shame.

When you call me I come, sometimes in disguise

Quite often I’ll take you by total surprise.

But take you I will, and just as you’ve feared

Ill want only to hurt you, with no mercy spared.

I bring self destruction, but still you can’t tell

I’ll sweep you through heaven, then drop you in hell,

I’ll chase you forever wherever you go,

And then when I catch you, you won’t even know.

Family Stress

Family dynamics significantly impact one’s health in both positive and negative ways. Having a close-knit and supportive family provides emotional support, economic well-being, and increases overall health. Although, the opposite is also true. One’s health tends to be negatively affected by family stress and conflict. Families characterized by conflict, anger, and aggression have a particularly negative effect on the children in the home.

At Start Point Counseling Center, we can help you identify specific family dynamics that compromise the quality of home life for you and your children. We encourage strong, loving, high functioning, and spiritually grounded family lifestyles.

Without pointing the finger of blame, shame or chastisement, we work to identify the factors that may contribute to a breakdown in communication in the home. So, if you are experiencing tension and stress from your family dynamic please visit our website starpointcounselingtampa.com or give us a call at (813)-244-1251.

Enjoy the little things…Holiday stress!

Sometimes it is difficult to remember to sit back and enjoy the holidays with the people you love. We spend so much time shopping, wrapping presents, returning presents, and attending holiday parties, all while already attending to our already busy schedule.

Here are some times to help you enjoy the holidays:

  • Try to find peace and joy in the season and focus on the moment you are in and not about the future.
  • Plan ahead, sometimes starting early with the decorations will help set your mind to ease. It’s never fun procrastinating setting up the Christmas tree and spending weeks worrying about it.
  • Try to keep the same routine for your kids, because they feel more secure when their days follow a predictable order. This helps keep your household peaceful and running well.
  • Remember what the holidays are about. Try not to get caught up so much with the physical aspects of the holidays, but instead remember its about spending time with the people you love. Try to shop less and focus on family time and de-stressing. Don’t forget to laugh! Laughter is the best medicine! 🙂

Grieving the loss of a loved one

Grieving is something that everyone endures at one point in their life. It is an individual experience that depends on someone’s personality, coping style, life experiences, and faith. The grieving process takes time and cannot be forces or hastened.

Here are some misconceptions are grieving:

  • The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.

Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it. This may be in the form of therapy and talking it out.

  • It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.

Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. When grieving, it is important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold without holding yourself back, from fear or being “weak.”

  • Grief should last about a year only

There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person. Some people start to feel better in weeks, while it takes others years to cope with their loss.

At Star Point Counseling Center, we have licensed counseling therapists available to help you get through the loss of a loved one. So, if you are having a problem coping with a loss and want to talk about it and learn ways to move forward please visit our website at  starpointcounselingtampa.com  or give us a call at (813)-244-1251.

 

Tips for social anxiety

Many people endure shyness, panic and anxiety even to the thought of having to meet or mingle with others. They will experience dry mouth, pounding heart, shaky voice, rapid breathing, sweating, blushing and an upset stomach. Because of this, they tend to avoid people all together. Here are some tips to help you if you are experiencing these symptoms:

  • Relax prepare yourself for whats to come and begin to think about the situation while in a relaxed state.
  • Seek out social situations actively put yourself in social situations so they will become “normal” and  not something that builds up dear anymore.
  • Ask questions social phobia has us worrying about what other people think about us. Cultivate curiosity and ask people open questions and interact with them.
  • Be yourself don’t be scared to “make a fool’ our of yourself or worry about being “perfect.” Just relax and be yourself!

At Star Point Counseling Center, we have licensed counseling therapists available to help you social anxiety. So, if you are having a problem interacting with people or going to new places and want to talk about it and learn ways to cope with your anxiety, please visit our websitestarpointcounselingtampa.com or give us a call at (813)-244-1251.

Nervous about your first counseling session? Here is what you can expect!

Going to counseling can be scary and nerve racking, but knowing what to expect can help ease those nerves and help you get better results. There is nothing to be scared or nervous about, your therapist is here to help you get through whatever it is you may be going through.

In your first session your therapist will ask you certain questions about you and your life. This information will help them make an initial assessment of your situation and help them begin creating a treatment plan. Some of the questions your therapist might ask include: why you are seeking therapy, your personal history (family,upbringing, etc.), your current situation, and your current symptoms. These questions will help them better understand what is going on.

Counseling is a team effort and requires active participation on your end. Here are some things you can do to make your first session as successful as possible: answer questions openly, honestly, and don’t be afraid to discuss your feelings, be prepared to describe what and how you are feeling, and make sure to ask questions about the process or anything you may have concerns about.

Therapy is not a quick fix, it is a process that takes time and patience. With active participation on your part and a strong relationship with your counselor, you will be very successful at resolving your problems.

Call us today for more information about the counseling process and what to expect! (813)244-1251

Myths About Therapy.

woman-on-therapist-couch (1)

Unfortunately, therapy still remains a shrouded subject, and many myths persist.These misunderstandings can prevent people from seeking help and getting better, and gives something valuable a bad name.

These are 7 myths that just won’t go away.

Myth #1: Everyone can benefit from therapy: This is false, only those who are motivated to change will truly benefit from therapy. It is important to be ready, willing, and open to therapy.

Myth #2: Therapy is like talking to a friend: Although it is important to have friends as support, therapists are trained to understand these matters and are able to offer more than just good advise.

Myth #3: Therapy isn’t working unless your in pain: This is not entirely true. Therapists may address painful subjects, but therapy is more about understanding yourself and others, and learning how to cope with different situations.

Myth #4: Therapy entails brainwashing: Some people believe that therapists push their ideas and agendas on their clients. However, a good clinician helps you re-discover or regain your voice, not lose it.

Myth #5 Therapists never take sides: At times, a therapist might have to take a side, either to keep a couple moving along, to challenge a client, or because of a particular issue at hand. Sometimes taking sides leads to more progress.

Myth #6 Change takes place during therapy: False, change actually takes place before and after your sessions. The goal of therapy is to apply the changes to your life, which is the hardest part.

Myth #7 Seeing a therapist means your damaged, weak, or crazy: There is nothing crazy about working on specific problems or trying to overcome intrusive symptoms. Therapy gives you the opportunity to utilize all the tools at your disposal to maximize your satisfaction and effectiveness in life.

Call us to find out how we can help you with any difficult situation you may be dealing with (813)244-1251