United, If We Choose to Be

     Regardless of the political perspective that we all view from, this political season has been stressful.  As a matter of fact, 52% of Americans reported it as being stressful, according to the American Psychological Association (2016).  Americans have found themselves feeling “anxious, stressed out, and worried.” Where does this come from? Why do we feel this  way?  The unknown is frightening and, for some, the facts of what is being done is frightening.    How do we continue on while feeling this way?  With the rise in hate crimes, protests, discussions and accusations of sexual abuse, walls, and health insurance it’s no wonder that many of us may feel that we are caught in the middle of a mental health crisis.

Research from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (2015) reports that one in five women will be the victim of sexual assault at some point in their lives so it is no wonder that so many women feel that they need to step up and do something to “protect” others.  Then on the other hand, we have women that do not see themselves as “victims” and do not need other women to protect them and for some reason it only brings about hate.  Why? For some reason, people have not realized or have forgotten that it is okay to disagree.

We live in America where we have freedom of speech, but we must understand that while we are free to do as we choose, we are not free of the consequences that may come from those choices.  America is the land of the free and the home of the brave. There is room for all of us to speak and to be heard, we do not have to spew hate towards one another just because our perspectives differ.  If both sides are saying they are trying to help or protect the others, then why are they tearing them down to try to make their point?  Are we really that convinced that our side is so perfectly correct that there is not any compromising to be had?  Are we not even willing to stop and listen to the argument and take some time to reflect without trying to prove why our side is right?  Rather than coming back with an argument, can we not try to stop and think of the pros and cons together?  We may be surprised.

We are only able to see the world through our own life experiences, but if we each step out and put ourselves in one another’s shoes for a moment we may end up pleasantly surprised at the empathy that we have for one another.  Or at the very least, realize that we don’t really hate each other.

With the election and inauguration ceremony of the new president, fear has come from every angle.  For those that are pro President Trump and those that are against him, let’s unite and work through our fears of what is going on together.  Let’s listen to one another from a loving and understanding perspective.  Understand that the opposing side’s perspective is being fueled by fear.  Regardless of the side that you stand on, we must teach ourselves to listen and to see though different lenses if we have any chance of truly being great again.  Cast aside your doubt and come with an open heart and an open mind.  If both sides are truly trying to help, then let’s help each other and quit tearing each other down.  Don’t be fooled to believe that the “other side” is against you.  Fear is what is fueling both sides.  United we stand and divided we fall.

If you feel that you are stressed and overwhelmed due to the current circumstances and situation of our country, give us a call.  Let’s work through our fears and discuss ways to cope and manage stress so that we can get back to being happy.  Life is too short to be anything else.  Let’s not live in fear.

(813) 244-1251

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/default.html

References:

(n.d.). (2016). APA Survey Reveals 2016 Presidential Election Source of Significant Stress for More Than     Half of Americans Retrieved January 26, 2017, from http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2016/10/presidential-election-stress.aspx

 

Burnett-Zeigler, I. E. (2016). How Donald Trump Affects Therapy Patients. Retrieved January 26, 2017, from http://time.com/4583628/donald-trump-therapy-patients/

 

Statistics about sexual violence. (2015). National Sexual Violence Resource Center. http://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf

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I Promise….

When you were younger, do you remember thinking about what your future would look like? Do you remember deciding what your future spouse would look like, how many children and pets you would have, where you would live, and even what you would be doing as a profession?  Yes, those days were fun.  We were able to imagine ourselves being great and having a wonderful life.  I think that for most people only good thoughts were thought about because  I don’t recall ever hearing anyone mention how they would parent their children.  I also don’t think that I ever heard anyone discuss what their lives would look like once they decided to not have anymore children or even how that would feel.

The truth is, that while living the dreams of our past’s future we may have messed up along the way.  We may have gotten so out of touch with what our real goals in life once were that we began to lose ourselves and we may have even lost sight of those precious dreams.  Did your life turn out the way that you pictured it? If not, that’s okay, things don’t always work out exactly as planned.  Okay, maybe never, but still… that’s okay.  The real question is: “Are you happy?”  Are you happy with the choices that you have made for your children?  Are you happy with the relationship between your children and your spouse?  Are you happy with how you are treated and how you treat others?

Regardless of the details of the future that you had planned, does it “feel” the way that you always wanted it to?  Think back to the promises that you made for child when he/she was born, when you first gazed into those beautiful eyes and made those promises of what you would always be for your child.  Are you fulfilling those promises that you made?

It’s not too late.  Start a new path.  Fulfill those promises.  “I promise to always be an understanding father and listen to you when you need someone to talk to.”  “I promise to love you unconditionally.”  “I promise to always give you my best.”  We all have bad days.  We all make mistakes.  But, it does not mean that for the rest of our lives each day has to be “bad.”  Get up and dust that dirt off your shoulders.  Allow your brokenhearted teenager to cry on your shoulder.  Be understanding that your child may have just had a bad day… like you.  It happens.  We have bad days.  Who do you have to talk to that will listen to you?  Who does your child have? Be to them who you needed when you were younger.  It’s not too late.

Star Point Counseling

Call or text for an appointment:  (813) 244-1251

 

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Do Not Pass Go

At what age are we supposed to stop blaming our parents for our lives?  Is there such an age?  While we may feel that the way our life has turned out is our parents fault due to their mistakes with us, the truth is that we have more power than we think we do.  As an adult, we should be able to look at our childhood situations from a different perspective.  Meaning, we are able to understand the situations that our parents were in and how that situation played a part in their actions and behavior.  We may not have made the same choices as them now looking back, but we are able to understand what shaped their decision making.  If there was substance abuse in the mix, then all the more reason to understand why poor choices were made.  Once we understand that, then it is time to forgive and move on.  Our parents are not to blame for our adult mistakes.  We may not be ready to forgive them… and that is okay. Learn how to forgive yourself.  Forgive yourself for being fooled. Forgive yourself for feeling as if you had no choice.  Forgive yourself for not speaking up.  Forgive yourself.

We know what we need to do and  it is time to do it.  Most of us know what we should be doing instead, but it is too easy to stay in the same place.  It is too easy to blame others.  We are so afraid of failing and not having anyone besides ourselves to blame.  Do we have to blame anyone?  What about if we twist that perspective a bit?  Each mistake is a learning lesson.  The truth is we do not have to blame anyone.  If anything, we could possible go as far as thanking them.  Thank you for these mistakes.  Thank you for this negative time.  Thank you for showing me what I do not want in my life or for my family.  If you mess up, forgive yourself and try again.

Now, just because we may forgive ourselves or others do not mean that  we should forget about the lesson that we learned from it.  Reflect and re-do.  Set your goals and then make your game plan.  How do you plan on reaching your goals without a game plan?  Do something different.  Do not be afraid to fail, learn from the failure.  Make some positive changes for yourself and for your family this year.  Quit playing the blame game, is there ever a winner in that game?

(813)244-1251

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