So in a previous blog, we gave you a brief definition of limerence. Just the definition of the term is not important, but rather it is more beneficial to find out if this state of being is healthy or unhealthy, rational or irrational, helpful or hurtful.
If you recall, limerence is the infatuous start of a relationship. It involves euphoria, obsessional thinking about the “limerent,” and a strong sexual attraction. This can be a very exciting time for some people, however it carries some very strong consequences. While the feelings are similar to love, its really more of a psuedo-love if you will. The difference between limerence and true unconditional love is that limerence actually has some conditions. A strong component of the term implies a reciprocation of feelings and action from the limerent, or the other person in the relationship.
What if this person does not share the same intense feelings? And what if your intense feelings are taking over your life? You may not be able to focus on work, and may be neglecting responsibilities you normally would take care of. You may start to lose yourself and put all of your time and energy into the limerent. In this case limerence does not show to be a very helpful state. Some researchers are even promoting limerence to be a DSM diagnosis.
But why does something that feels so good have to be so bad? Well, that is a question to be entertained in part 3 of the series. Stay tuned, you wont want to miss the answer to this question!
Parveen kaur received her MS in psychology, currently working towards her doctorate in psychology. Parveen has worked for several agencies in Florida over 6 years. Parveen works with children, adolescents, adults doing individual, couple, family and group therapy. She has experience working with anxiety, depression, trauma, eating disorder, anger management, schizophrenia, ADHD and other childhood disorders.
Recently I came across a word that I didn’t even know existed. As I was looking for love and types of love, I ran across Sternberg’s triangle. Although its reliability has been questioned in many ways, there are many important concepts that are introduced within this theory. One of which is the concept of limerence. The term was actually developed by a psychologist Dorothy Tennov and was explained in detail in many of her books.
Limerence is almost like an infatuation of sorts. You may recognize it in the beginning of a romantic relationship. Its the period of overwhelming feelings of love and attachment that is involuntary. There are many aspects of limerence, according to Tennov. One will usually have intrusive thoughts about the “limerent” and being overwhelmed with the idea that the limerent MUST have reciprocal feelings. So, how often does this happen? Is it healthy? Well, Tennov’s predecessors are working hard to make more people familiar with this term, and eventually may try to label it as a disorder.
Stay tuned for more information on limerence in the next blog. But we want to hear from you… Have you ever experience limerence? And if so, was it a positive experience? What was the outcome? Your feedback is appreciated!!!!!!
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