Why do we hurt the ones we love?

The people we know and love the most are the same people we’re most awful to in word and deed. Often times it is because we expect too much from them. We hope that they can help us, that they can do all the things we are not capable of doing; moreover, that they have to do them, because of the love we invest in them. When they don’t, we feel disappointed and the natural instinct is to get angry and act out. Also, the people we love and care for are the ones who have the courage to be honest and tell us the truth, even when it hurts. And even though we know it is the truth, it still hurts and the pain can cause violent reactions

Many times we expect the people we love to just know what we are thinking, and when that doesn’t happen, we feel misunderstood. We wish they could make a journey inside our head and see things the way we see them, just because we think it is the right way. We simply can’t understand why they think differently and how they can miss something that seems so simple and obvious to us. In addition, we misunderstand them because we’re not always willing to try to understand them.

We love them but in the same time we hate them because they know our weaknesses and there’s no way we can hide. The mask we wear in relation with other people is put aside and all the things we usually try to hide come to the surface

Lastly, We trust them and we know deep in our hearts that, no matter what we do, they won’t stop loving us. We feel safe to take our frustrations on them because we think there will be no consequences. We hurt them most of the times because they let us hurt them.

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Standing your ground

Everyday, from the moment we wake up, we live our lives caring what other people think of us. We tip toe our way through life by doing things in order to please others, not because it’s what we believe in. Eventually our actions, appearances, and lives become molded by how we think other people perceive us.

Living a life that follows what other people think is a terrible way to live. We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is —  everyone is thinking the exact same thing, and everyone is too busy thinking about ourselves and our own shortcomings to worry about others.

It’s impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations. There will always be people ,  no matter what we say or how we treat them , that will judge us. You will never be able to stop people from judging you, but you can stop it from affecting you! Do not let other people’s perception of you effect your perception of yourself.

 

Living life according to “the plan”

“Life is what happens while you are making other plans.” ~John Lennon
       Getting fixated on plans will often times lead to disappointment. We tend to plan out our lives rigorously and not know what to do when things do not go as we anticipated. Sometimes you might need to make minor adjustments to your life plans in order to enjoy the journey of life. Other times, major changes might be necessary, either way, that’s your opportunity to experience all that this world has to offer.
     Learning to find joy and happiness with life’s surprises takes time, but you will no longer find yourself being constantly disappointed or stressed or looking around wondering what happened to the life you thought you’d have.
      You can develop the habit of seeing the good in everything, even when life doesn’t go according to “the plan.”
      If you are having a hard time coping with the changes in your life, at Star Point Counseling Center, we can help you. If you have any questions or wish to speak to a counselor please give us a call at (813)-244-1251

Troubled Teens

Parenting a teen is never easy, especially if they are taking part in reckless behaviors like abusing alcohol, using drugs, or is violent and depressed.  While parenting a troubled teen can often seem like an impossible task, there are steps you can take to ease the chaos at home and help your teen become a successful adult.

As they grow older, teens begin to assert their independence, because of this, they may experience behavioral changes that can seem bizarre to the parents.  Therefor, it is important for parents to understand which behaviors are normal during adolescent development and which are indicators of a more serious problem.

  • Changing in appearance is typical teen behavior, although if it is accompanied by problems at school or self-harm it is a problem.
  • Mood swings are normal due to hormone changes, although sudden persistent sadness, anxiety, or sleep problems can be a sign of depression.
  • Increased arguments is typical teen behavior as they begin to seek independence, although violence at home, getting in fights at school, and run-ins with the law are all red flags.

If you see a red flag behavior in you teen you should consult a doctor, counselor or therapist. At Star Point Counseling Center, we specialize in helping troubled teens get back on the right track. We can help your teen through the stages of change, to increase compliance with rules and laws, encourage positive peer selection, improve academic status, and overall goal directed behavior. If you have any questions or wish to speak to a counselor please give us a call at (813)-244-1251.

Enjoy the little things…Holiday stress!

Sometimes it is difficult to remember to sit back and enjoy the holidays with the people you love. We spend so much time shopping, wrapping presents, returning presents, and attending holiday parties, all while already attending to our already busy schedule.

Here are some times to help you enjoy the holidays:

  • Try to find peace and joy in the season and focus on the moment you are in and not about the future.
  • Plan ahead, sometimes starting early with the decorations will help set your mind to ease. It’s never fun procrastinating setting up the Christmas tree and spending weeks worrying about it.
  • Try to keep the same routine for your kids, because they feel more secure when their days follow a predictable order. This helps keep your household peaceful and running well.
  • Remember what the holidays are about. Try not to get caught up so much with the physical aspects of the holidays, but instead remember its about spending time with the people you love. Try to shop less and focus on family time and de-stressing. Don’t forget to laugh! Laughter is the best medicine! 🙂

Grieving the loss of a loved one

Grieving is something that everyone endures at one point in their life. It is an individual experience that depends on someone’s personality, coping style, life experiences, and faith. The grieving process takes time and cannot be forces or hastened.

Here are some misconceptions are grieving:

  • The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.

Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it. This may be in the form of therapy and talking it out.

  • It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.

Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. When grieving, it is important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold without holding yourself back, from fear or being “weak.”

  • Grief should last about a year only

There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person. Some people start to feel better in weeks, while it takes others years to cope with their loss.

At Star Point Counseling Center, we have licensed counseling therapists available to help you get through the loss of a loved one. So, if you are having a problem coping with a loss and want to talk about it and learn ways to move forward please visit our website at  starpointcounselingtampa.com  or give us a call at (813)-244-1251.

 

Break Bad Habits In 3 Steps!

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Everyone has at least one bad habit that they would like to banish, such as smoking, biting their nails, and procrastinating. When individuals try to quit their bad habits they often fail, because they are not replacing the bad habit with an alternative. Breaking bad habits can be simple if you have the desire, patience and follow these 3 simple steps.

  1. Choose an alternative habit. Your brain needs habits to function. When quitting one habit you must have an alternative to replace it.
  2. Commit. Its’s not easy to give up something you enjoy. Your brain has connected this bad habit to your happy chemicals a long time ago. But you can do it if you commit yourself to this new alternative habit.
  3. Repeat. Your new alternative habit will begin to feel natural after about 6 weeks, so keep at it. Eventually as your brain adjusts it will be easier to not think about or want to do your old bad habit.

It is possible to break bad habits if you are committed, patient, and have support. Seeking a counselor can be very beneficial for you during this process. A counselor can help you design an alternative, give you support and advice, and guide you through the process of replacing your bad habits.

Visit our website for more information on how we can help! www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com

Nervous about your first counseling session? Here is what you can expect!

Going to counseling can be scary and nerve racking, but knowing what to expect can help ease those nerves and help you get better results. There is nothing to be scared or nervous about, your therapist is here to help you get through whatever it is you may be going through.

In your first session your therapist will ask you certain questions about you and your life. This information will help them make an initial assessment of your situation and help them begin creating a treatment plan. Some of the questions your therapist might ask include: why you are seeking therapy, your personal history (family,upbringing, etc.), your current situation, and your current symptoms. These questions will help them better understand what is going on.

Counseling is a team effort and requires active participation on your end. Here are some things you can do to make your first session as successful as possible: answer questions openly, honestly, and don’t be afraid to discuss your feelings, be prepared to describe what and how you are feeling, and make sure to ask questions about the process or anything you may have concerns about.

Therapy is not a quick fix, it is a process that takes time and patience. With active participation on your part and a strong relationship with your counselor, you will be very successful at resolving your problems.

Call us today for more information about the counseling process and what to expect! (813)244-1251

Coping With The Loss of a Loved One.

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Coping with the loss of a close friend or family member may be one of the hardest challenges that many of us face. When we lose a spouse, sibling or parent our grief can be particularly intense. Loss is understood as a natural part of life, but we can still be overcome by shock and confusion, leading to prolonged periods of sadness or depression. The sadness typically diminishes in intensity as time passes, but grieving is an important process in order to overcome these feelings and continue to embrace the time you had with your loved one. Human beings are naturally resilient, considering most of us can endure loss and then continue on with our own lives. But some people may struggle with grief for longer periods of time and feel unable to carry out daily activities. 

Grieving individuals may find it useful to use some of the following strategies to help come to terms with loss:

  • Talk about the death of your loved one with friends and colleagues in order to understand what happened and remember your friend or family member. Denying death is an easy way to isolate yourself, and will frustrate your support system in the process.
  • Accept your feelings. People experience all kinds of emotions after the death of someone close. Sadness, anger, frustration and even exhaustion are all normal.
  • Take care of yourself and your family. Eating well, exercising and getting plenty of rest help us get through each day and move forward.
  • Reach out and help others dealing with the loss. Helping others has the added benefit of making you feel better as well. Sharing stories of the deceased can help everyone cope.
  • Remember and celebrate the lives of your loved ones. Possibilities include donating to a favorite charity of the deceased, framing photos of fun times, passing on a family name to a baby or planting a garden in memory. What you choose is up to you, as long as it allows you honor that unique relationship in a way that feels right to you.

If you feel stuck or overwhelmed by your emotions, it may be helpful to talk with a licensed psychologist or other mental health professional who can help you cope with your feelings and find ways to get back on track.

Call us today so we can help you begin your healing process. (813)244-1251 and visit our website www.starpointcounselingtampa.com for more information on how we can help.

 

 

 

 

Is Your Anger Destructive?

ImageAnger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you’re at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

If you are having a hard time controlling your anger here are some simple steps that can help calm down angry feelings:

-Breathe slowly and deeply: breathe from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your “gut.”
-Count to 10: Counting to 10 gives you time to cool down so you can think more clearly and overcome the impulse to lash out.
-Practice calm words: Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax,” “take it easy.” Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
-Use imagery: visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
-Meditation or yoga: slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

 

If you feel that your anger is really getting out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. Our licensed mental health professionals at Star Point Counseling Center can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.

Call us today to set up an appointment! (813) 244-1251 

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/