The ‘F’ Word: Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a voluntary and intentional process by which you have a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense.

The rule is simply this: forgive. This is sincerely the best thing you can do in your marriage and really the only way to keep your marriage intact for the rest of your life. It takes letting go of negative emotions such as anger or vengefulness, and the ability to wish the offender well. Studies have shown that forgiveness inspires love and can be healing in many ways.

Use these tips to keep forgiveness at the heart of your marriage:

1.      Look at both sides of the story.

There are often simple explanations for frustrating behavior, but you have to be willing to see both sides. Too often, spouses jump to conclusions and immediately go into a blaming or defensive mode instead of looking reasonably at both sides of the story. If everyone looked at themselves first before attacking their partners, many fights would be dispersed before they even began. When you can view both sides honestly, it is easier to find forgiveness because you see what part you contributed in the fight.

2.      Practice a policy of open honesty, but not necessarily all the time.

Some spouses operate on the premise that honesty is the best policy no matter the circumstances. In reality, this is not true in marriage. When you hear that honesty is important in a marriage, it is. But it doesn’t mean cruelty or lack of tact is necessary. Honesty means not lying about how much you spent shopping and if your husband asks how you are, do not say ‘fine’ when you don’t mean it. If you need to, schedule a time each week that is your ‘honest’ time. When you have both had a chance to air your grievances, it will be easier to follow number 1 above.

3.      Imagine your spouse dying or leaving you.

This isn’t something that you usually hear recommended in a marriage. But it is a simple and powerful way to remind yourself of how much you love your spouse. When you are feeling especially angry, think about how you would feel if he or she died before you sorted out your feelings. Would this incident be of importance? This is not to say that you should pretend to be happy all the time because he or she might die. This is just another way to look at your marriage and realize how much you do love each other and want the marriage to go forward.

4.      Think about how forgiving will also help you.

Holding on to negative feelings and grudges is extra emotional weight you don’t need. You have likely upset your spouse at times too. There is  no way to exist in any long term relationship without some misunderstandings and doing unintentional harm. Forgiving will be freeing for you and is likely to bring you the same in return from your partner.

 

By following these simple guidelines, you will find that you can forgive your husband or wife more quickly. Throughout your relationship, you will frequently have moments of “rupture and repair.”  There are times you both go off course and will need to correct it. This is quite normal. Love always follows forgiveness. So, put these ideas into practice to strengthen your bond and ensure that you are truly together until death do you part.

At Star Point Counseling Center, there are two convenient locations for you to choose from in Brandon and Tampa. Call or Text us today, to schedule your appointment. (813) 244.1251
 To view the Brandon website, click here.

We provide counseling services to individuals, couples, families, children, teens, and adults with any type of crises.  We help you build tools as well as help design and implement individualized goals and objectives, help you sort out beliefs, thoughts, and behavior patterns that may be hindering you in your relationship(s) whether at the work place or in other areas of your life.  
 
We have the tools you need for managing pain, anxiety, disappointment, frustration, hopelessness, or anger resulting from circumstances that interfere in achieving a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.  By working together, we will show you how to set and achieve goals and objectives therapeutically designed to meet your needs that will allow you to live the life you know that you deserve.

 

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com

http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com

 

 

 

 

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7 Common Marital Problems

If you are experiencing conflict in your marriage, you are not alone. Here are the most common marital problems among couples:

  • Communication breakdown
  • Unresolved issues from the past
  • Unfulfilled relationship/partner expectations
  • Intimacy issues
  • Infidelity
  • Resentment
  • Contempt

If left unresolved, these problems may corrode the positive aspects of your marriage, which can eventually lead to divorce. Marital conflicts can also have an adverse impact on children. Therefore, it is important to seek marriage counseling before conflicts create lasting damage. Marriage counseling not only helps couples resolve conflicts, but also teaches partners important tools for creating a happy and successful marriage. If you are interested in couples counseling please contact us at 813-244-1251. We also invite you to visit our websites at http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com and www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com.

Managing Change in Your Relationship

It is quite normal for relationships to go through periods of change and many couples are able to adjust and reshape their relationship as it evolves. It is also quite normal for relationships to become stuck during this process, especially during major life events such as having a child, changing careers, having financial difficulties, and going through changes in health. Couple’s counseling offers a great opportunity to gain clarity, learn how to work through challenges, and grow as an individual and as a couple. It is important to seek help as early as possible in order to learn the tools necessary for managing changes and to preserve your relationship. The journey may be difficult, but the rewards great.

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com

 

Family Stress

Family dynamics significantly impact one’s health in both positive and negative ways. Having a close-knit and supportive family provides emotional support, economic well-being, and increases overall health. Although, the opposite is also true. One’s health tends to be negatively affected by family stress and conflict. Families characterized by conflict, anger, and aggression have a particularly negative effect on the children in the home.

At Start Point Counseling Center, we can help you identify specific family dynamics that compromise the quality of home life for you and your children. We encourage strong, loving, high functioning, and spiritually grounded family lifestyles.

Without pointing the finger of blame, shame or chastisement, we work to identify the factors that may contribute to a breakdown in communication in the home. So, if you are experiencing tension and stress from your family dynamic please visit our website starpointcounselingtampa.com or give us a call at (813)-244-1251.

Employee Profile: Norma J. Barnes

norma

Norma has been with Star Point Counseling for about a year. She has added much experience and knowledge to our team. Here is a little bit about Norma…

Norma recieved a Master’s Degree from Nova Southeastern University and has been in the counseling field for over 15 years. Norma is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, a Certified Addictions Professional and a Certified Employee Assistance Professional.

Norma’s experience includes working with individuals, couples, gay and lesbian, blended families, family counseling, multicultural dynamics, women’s issues, grief and loss, personal growth, addiction, ACOA, depression, anxiety, stress, workplace issues, marriage counseling, separation and divorce, and phase of life challenges.

Norma is available for appointments on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at our Brandon location. She takes most major insurances as well. If you would like to make an appointment with Norma, or recieve a free phone consultation call Star Point Counseling of Tampa at 813-244-1251.

PARENTING SKILLS

At Star Point Counseling we have a team of therapists committed to helping. One frequent issue that comes up is questions about effective parenting and blended families. The following information was written by our Co-Founder and Clinical Director, Clarissa Crystal-Belle to provide some insight to families with these issues. For more information please check out our website http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com.

We teach and demonstrate effective parenting skills and techniques that will help you to break through the communication barriers that may be undermining your authority in the home.

Either parent may be inadvertently feeding into the fever of non-compliance, triangulation, manipulation, arguments, willfulness, poor academic status, school referrals, poor peer selection, and other problems you may be facing with your adolescent or child.

While we believe that the luckiest children are those who have grandparents and other extended family involvement, we also address parenting concerns and boundary issues, stemming from meddling or any staying extended family members – including the often dreaded “in-laws.”

We understand the excitement and challenges that come with blended families as well, and want to help you to help each other make adjustments to the changes that occur when two families join under one roof.

Meet our Executive Business Director

 

0_0_0_0_248_186_csupload_50289544 Mr. Sam DiFranco is co-founder and executive business director at Star Point counseling. Since the start of the business, Sam has been diligently working to make Star Point the best Counseling Agency in the Tampa and Brandon areas. Sam has previous experience as a chef, and has worn many hats throughout his career including owning his own catering business. Sam has a great deal of expertise in running a succesful and productive company and shows enthusiasm for his work, which includes Star Point Counseling.

Many of our clients see Sam’s hard work and dedication to making their time at Star Point very relaxed and productive. Sam helps clients navigate through the insurance system so they get the best understanding of copays and deductibles in regard to mental health. He is always in the office to greet clients and offers a selfless approach to his treatment of both clients and employees. Although Sam is not a mental health counsleor, he is the first person that the clients will contact to sign up for an appointment and he offers a listening ear to pair the client with the most appropriate counselor.

Call Sam today for an appointment! 813-244-1251.