Coping with Major Life Changes

Coping with Major Life Changes

It’s okay to be emotional. It’s natural to have feelings of sadness, to grieve over the loss of something, to feel angry about your situation, or to place blame. You have permission to feel that way, but only for moments. You can have your pity party, but only for a day or two, and then you have to move on. If you spend too much time in that place of anger or pity or blame, you end up not being able to adapt to your change. It keeps you in a place of helplessness. And what you need to be is in a place of hope and of growth.

2. You can give yourself permission to be vulnerable: Some of us like to project an image of being strong and fearless, but sometimes it’s not the truth. The truth is that we’re scared, vulnerable, weak and in need of help. We need to allow ourselves to rely on others. And showing that vulnerability is OK. It may feel like you are exposed, but being completely exposed is not always a bad thing. There is always learning and growth that can come from it. You allow people to really see you and when they can see you, can know your stress or pain, they can help. Vulnerability is just part of who we are as people.

3. You are never alone: Sometimes when we go through major changes we think we are dealing with something no one else can understand or no one else is going through. But there are others that can empathize with you. You’re not alone. Even if you don’t ask people to be around you, family and close friends will come to your side. You’re also never alone because you always have yourself to rely on. And ultimately none of us are separate from the Creator or separate from the universe. So the idea of being alone is a false one.

4. You have to ask for help: Often people don’t know what to say or what to do. Some people get stuck because they don’t know what to say or what to do. Sometimes people are natural caregivers. They jump right in to help. But these are the minority. So it is your job to tell people what to say and what to do that will be helpful.  Being able to clearly articulate what you need gives people a sense of relief. In the end, people really like to be told how they can help you in very specific terms. They need it defined for them so they can feel like they are helping and supporting you. Left on their own to guess this information, they feel helpless. And when they feel helpless they do not act. So empower them and empower yourself by letting them know specifically how they can help.

5. You can adapt to anything. Our ability to adapt is amazing. Necessity is the mother of invention and you will naturally find ways to solve your problems and do things in new and different ways when you’re presented with challenges. The adaptability and flexibility of our spirits and of our beings is a given. Those who cannot change and adapt have convinced themselves it is not possible. If you trust that you can adapt, then you will. And if you believe that you can change, then you will, no matter what the challenge.

6. You have to have hope for the future: Having that hope and having the positive perspective is what keeps you moving forward every day. If you give up that belief it would be like letting go of a rope that pulls you forward. Believing that things can and will be different, and that you will see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can’t see it now, is the most important thing in getting through a change process. Knowing that there is an end in sight, knowing there are possibilities, and having hope that things are going to be better. And, ultimately, things are going to work out.

7. You will grow as a person, but you are still the same: Going through a change, especially one that is traumatic, changes you forever. It changes how you see life and deal with things. You’re never going to be the same again and that’s a good thing. Because in the midst of change is a great deal of learning, if you are willing to have vision and perspective. And if you are willing to continually ask yourself the question, “What am I supposed to be learning from this?” “How am I supposed to grow?” “How will I become a better person because of this?” In any change process, you can become stronger, and a better version of you. Just because something changes about you, even something radical, doesn’t change the core of who you are as a person. Having something different about you doesn’t make you a different human being. If you are strong and centered and grounded, that is still who you are. Sometimes you have to remind yourself of that.

Star Point Counseling Center provides solution focused counseling for couples, families, and individuals by licensed Therapists to the extended Tampa, Brandon, Plant City, and Riverview areas. We can see you the day you call or whenever possible. We are available evening and weekends by appointment.

At Star Point Counseling Center, there are two convenient locations for you to choose from in Brandon and Tampa. So call or text us today, or anytime, to schedule your appointment. We can be reached by phone or text at (813) 244-1251 or online at:

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com

http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com

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Are Your Being Emotionally Abused?

Emotional abuse can be just as psychologically damaging as physical abuse, but it is also in some ways easier to explain and justify. People who are emotionally abused tend to downplay their victimization by comparing themselves to people who are physically abused. But abuse is detrimental, whether it is emotional, physical, or mental.

Are you accepting treatment that you shouldn’t?  Are you being emotionally abused?  Here are some indicators:

  • Lack of reciprocity. You feel as if you are always giving and they are always taking. You don’t give just because you want to make them feel good, you give to avoid having them make you feel bad.
  • Everything is made to be your fault. He or she is always looking for a way to put the blame on you.
  • Your self-esteem is being ripped to pieces. A way of maintaining the power dynamic is to make you second guess yourself and put all your faith and trust into the abuser.
  • Your abuser has isolated you. Again, that maintains the power dynamic in their favor.  This might also increase your financial dependence, another way of controlling you. Or maybe you don’t want to approach others because you are ashamed to say what is going on in your relationship.
  • You’re minimizing the occurrences, and the ways they make you feel. You make excuses, and you make it your fault when your partner says something demeaning or does something controlling. You say that the abuser is right, you do need to correct those things. Because if you did, then he/she wouldn’t have anything to complain about.

Emotional abuse breaks you down, shames, isolates, and confuses you.  It’s time to call it what it is and let other people know what’s happening. Then you can start to figure out what the right next step is for you–if it’s seeing a therapist, confronting your partner, or making plans to leave the relationship.

Call to schedule an appointment with a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and begin living the life that you deserve! (813)244-1251 www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

Signs of Verbal Abuse

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How do you know if you are in a verbally abusive relationship?

Another name for verbal abuse is emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is defined as a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Imagine a situation where a person yells at you, calls you names, and embarrasses you in front of others. That is emotional abuse. It depletes your self-esteem, and can often make you feel like you are crazy.

In the beginning stages of a relationship, the “courting stage,” it is really hard to identify signs of emotional abuse. Things are really good at that period. However, experts say one red flag is a person’s desire to get serious too soon. This is known as an attempt at control masked as romantic love.

Telltale signs of emotional abuse you can look for in your relationship:

  1. You feel worse after disagreements
  2. He calls his ex “crazy” for her allegations
  3. You don’t feel free to spend time with the people and pursuits you love
  4. You feel like you’re dating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
  5. He threatens to kill himself, you, your child, or the pet if you leave

Emotional abuse is common (1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence). It happens to males too. If you have experienced emotional abuse, it is important to realize it was not your fault. You can get out, and you can get help.

What are some signs of emotional abuse that you can think of?

 

To read the full article: http://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2013/10/03/the-telltale-signs-of-verbal-abuse?page=2

Visit our website today: http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com, or http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

Or call now to schedule an appointment with one of our skilled counselors: (813) 244-1251

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Whether you are the owner, manager, supervisor or supervisee, the workplace can be a major source of mental, emotional, and physical distress. At Star Point Counseling Center, we can help you find out how you can maximize the productivity of yourself and others and explore techniques that are competitive, congenial, and creative for the workplace environment. We will guide you to learn and practice team building skills as well as help you to explore professional development, advancement strategies, and education or career opportunities.

Call and make an appointment today!