Being Friends With Your Spouse

Are you feeling unhappy in your current marriage/relationship? Are you constantly arguing with your partner? Well, the solution might be easier than you think. Why not try being friends?

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There had to be a time when you were friends; and somehow that friendship is now lost. The closer you became as a couple, the more you began to focus on making the relationship work, and you lost sight of what really matters. Think about it for a moment. Do you treat your friends the same way you treat your partner? Sure you are more physically intimate with your partner, but that is no reason you can’t be friends too.

How can you become friends again? Here are 7 qualities that are present in a healthy friendship:

  1. Loyalty
  2. Sensitivity
  3. Humor
  4. Honesty
  5. Listening
  6. Support
  7. Generosity

When is the last time you noticed any of these qualities in your relationship?

 

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Fighting Big = Big Resolution

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Some say that having a screaming match with their partner is effective, because it shows that there is passion in the relationship. But can having big fights with your partner end in big resolutions?

Disagreements are normal and can even strengthen relationships, if resolved in a healthy manner. In close relationships, feeling frustrated, misunderstood, or having differences in opinion is natural. Therefore, it is expected that there may be an emotional combustion. By fighting big (i.e. arguing), this allows for stressors to be released, and in turn, leads to a solution. Boundaries can be established as a result of these differences, and partners can establish their own fighting style to effectively approach these conflicts.

According to a recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, couples in satisfying relationships who have negative communication, are more likely to have bigger conflicts, but this is usually followed by bigger resolutions by both partners. An internet questionnaire was given to couples in a satisfying relationship, and to couples in an unhappy relationship. The self-reported data from the questionnaire relayed how the couples felt during the conflict and how they currently feel about it. This was used as a measure of the progress the participants made toward progress.

Results revealed that the presence of negative communication in satisfying relationships was associated with bigger conflicts, but that these conflicts were generally followed by big resolutions. However, the presence of negative communication in unhappy relationships was associated with big conflicts, as well as trouble finding a resolution, regardless of the type of communication they used. These findings highlight how a couple can have a big fight, feel upset, reach an argument, and then feel happy with one another again. A much stronger predictor of progress toward conflict resolution is a person’s level of relationship satisfaction. Conclusively, keeping a feeling of satisfaction alive in a relationship is more important than the type of communication used to resolve conflicts.

You can read the entire article from Medical Daily here: http://www.medicaldaily.com/relationship-issues-why-happy-couples-who-have-big-fights-also-have-big-resolutions-269239

For more information on Couples Counseling, visit our website at http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com, or http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com