Does this sound familiar: You look at your spouse and wonder if this is even the same person you married… After all, you fight all the time. You never sleep together. You’re not sure you even love them anymore. You feel like cheating on them or wonder if they have been cheating on you. It’s nothing like it was when you first got marriage and were completely devoted to each other, is it? Should you even try to save a marriage like that?
Absolutely. Too many couples give up and move on to the terrible alternative: divorce. Divorce is no picnic. Divorce cost more marriage counseling does. You can’t escape the knowledge that you failed in your marriage. Imagine the disrupted lives. The overwhelming expense. What about the children if you have them? Maybe you think your kids would be better not to have to hear all the fighting. But you know what’s better? Not fighting anymore!
Look, it’s not easy to save a marriage, but it can be done and it is not as hard as you think. I learned how to save a marriage and you can too. Your spouse may have given up already, but the fact that YOU want to find out the answer indicates that you have the number one most important thing going for you: commitment. Good for you.
The key to improving things is to change the way you look at your spouse. Most of us only have a very unclear idea of our partner’s thinking process; very little understanding of what drives this person to fight and argue with us. Do you know that when your spouse gets angry, the anger is often caused by FEAR? Ask yourself, what is he or she afraid of? Is fear making them defensive? You might find that you can sympathize more with them when you understand where they are coming from. Next time your spouse gets angry at you, instead of lashing out at them defensively and making things worse, calmly take a second to ask yourself what is is that your spouse is afraid of? (Don’t ask your spouse this question or they might hit the roof. This is no time to engage them, wait till the “steam” has passed).
This is just an example of the tools and skills we teach our clients who come to Star Point Counseling Center in Tampa FL. & Brandon Fl. for Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Couples Counseling or Family Counseling. 813-244-1251