At what age are we supposed to stop blaming our parents for our lives? Is there such an age? While we may feel that the way our life has turned out is our parents fault due to their mistakes with us, the truth is that we have more power than we think we do. As an adult, we should be able to look at our childhood situations from a different perspective. Meaning, we are able to understand the situations that our parents were in and how that situation played a part in their actions and behavior. We may not have made the same choices as them now looking back, but we are able to understand what shaped their decision making. If there was substance abuse in the mix, then all the more reason to understand why poor choices were made. Once we understand that, then it is time to forgive and move on. Our parents are not to blame for our adult mistakes. We may not be ready to forgive them… and that is okay. Learn how to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for being fooled. Forgive yourself for feeling as if you had no choice. Forgive yourself for not speaking up. Forgive yourself.
We know what we need to do and it is time to do it. Most of us know what we should be doing instead, but it is too easy to stay in the same place. It is too easy to blame others. We are so afraid of failing and not having anyone besides ourselves to blame. Do we have to blame anyone? What about if we twist that perspective a bit? Each mistake is a learning lesson. The truth is we do not have to blame anyone. If anything, we could possible go as far as thanking them. Thank you for these mistakes. Thank you for this negative time. Thank you for showing me what I do not want in my life or for my family. If you mess up, forgive yourself and try again.
Now, just because we may forgive ourselves or others do not mean that we should forget about the lesson that we learned from it. Reflect and re-do. Set your goals and then make your game plan. How do you plan on reaching your goals without a game plan? Do something different. Do not be afraid to fail, learn from the failure. Make some positive changes for yourself and for your family this year. Quit playing the blame game, is there ever a winner in that game?
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