Recently I conducted a poll with friends and acquaintances about communication with their significant others. I asked, “What is the number one communication deficit that you have with your partner?” I was pleasantly surprised to see the array of answers I received in response. One person explained, “Politely asking to have something done multiple times until I have to get a little snappy to get it done…then the response is, ” you don’t have to nag me”…OR I just end up doing it myself and he jumps up & says, “I was gonna do that.” Resolved myself to just rolling my eyes. Arguing goes nowhere.” Another replied, “When my wife is mad about something I did or said and tries to act as if all is well. It creates awkward communication that usually drags until we just stop talking for a short period of time.” There were also a few other responses that ranged anywhere from not being a good listener to not talking at all. While there are many failures to communication, there was one answer that really struck me. She said, “We have a communication issue about communicating.”
Often times its not only what you say that has an impact on your message. Many components influence the way a message is delivered. Your body language, facial expression, and even lack of vocal expression can be interpreted by the receiver. Even lies and deception can be detected through different body movements.
Metacommunication can be a good thing to discect and explore when you are having issues with communication. You may already be noticing and reading the non-verbal cues of your partner. They may actually be driving you crazy because you know that when your girlfriend says, “I’m fine” really means, “I’m so mad I could spit.” Communicating about communication is important for many couples to find out how to better deliver and receive messages.
Does your physical communication match your verbal communication? Are you sending the wrong message through your non-verbals? Star Point wants to hear from you. Comment below!
Stayed tuned for part two of our blog on metacommunication where we will give you some great tips on how to be aware of your messages.